


there's nothing more sickening than a man in love - english

by bloodyqveen



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alliser Thorne (mentioned) - Freeform, Bisex Jon Snow, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Edd Tollett needs a hug, Eddjon, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Edd Tollett, Gilly (mentioned) - Freeform, Grenn has a gay-radar, Homosexuality, I hate Sam but I put him there too, Internalized Biphobia, Jon Snow Knows Nothing, Jon is pining for Edd and that's all we need, M/M, Maester Aemon (mentioned) - Freeform, POV Pyp, Pyp is fighting for lgbt+ community rights, SO MUCH FLUFF, Three-finger Hobb (mentioned), Toad (mentioned), all the Night's Watchers are gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyqveen/pseuds/bloodyqveen
Summary: Dolorous Edd Tollett once said something like "there's nothing more sickening than a man in love."He was certainly referring to Sam and the fact that he had just talked about Gilly; again. However, Pyp felt equally targeted, his hand under the table intertwined with Grenn's.
Relationships: Grenn/Pypar (ASoIaF), Jon Snow/Edd Tollett
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	there's nothing more sickening than a man in love - english

**Author's Note:**

> guess what? another translation of my eddjon oneshot! this time it was not included in the usual collection because this also contains Grenn / Pyp for half
> 
> it's just something nice where Pyp is the protagonist because yes, Grenn has a gay-radar, Jon Snow knows nothing and Edd is my baby as usual 
> 
> if it's written weird, don't blame me (it's become my motto now)

Dolorous Edd Tollett once said something like "there's nothing more sickening than a man in love."  
He was certainly referring to Sam and the fact that he had just talked about Gilly; _again_. However, Pyp felt equally targeted, his hand under the table intertwined with Grenn's.  
Of all the brothers in black, Edd seemed the only one who didn't need a loving partner, or even just someone with whom to spend a night of pleasure without obligation. He shunned good feelings, was annoyed by the brethren who usually lay among them, and did not want to hear talk about old loves left around the world or even about the simple sluts of Mole's Town. He had clear sexual frustration, or maybe it was just apathy. Maybe both. The fact is that he was disgusted by every form of love that exists, a strange thing for a Night's Watcher, who on the contrary should seek more and more comfort in that hostile world.  
Pyp felt sorry for Edd; his life must have been difficult. After all, not everyone had been as lucky as he, that had found the true love of his life in a place like this. Every as often, when he watched Grenn sleep beside him, he found himself thinking that without him he would never be able to survive. He probably would have become a depressed boy, with dark circles and a sharp tongue...just like Edd.  
That man definitely needed love, even if he continued to deny it.  
«Don't speak of love. What do you want to know?» Sam retorted.  
«Much more than you think» Edd replied, with a strange look.  
Could Edd really be in love with someone?  
Pyp wanted, indeed, _had_ to find out. 

\- 

«Are you serious about finding out who Edd is in love with?» Grenn asked as he followed Pyp down the hall.  
Pyp stopped in front of Edd's door, the pitcher of beer in his hand rattling slightly.  
«Aye, I have already told you. He needs help. He needs someone to love him, or at least take him to bed.»  
«It's just a waste of time.»  
«It isn't» he replied with a smile, knocking on the door of his dolorous brother.  
When he heard a "come in" coming from within, he burst into the room with his boyfriend in tow.  
«Would you like some company? We brought you some beer.»  
Without even waiting for an answer, Pyp put the carafe on the nightstand and sat on Edd's bed. Grenn preferred to stand in front of the small lit brazier to warm his hands.  
At first they talked about bullshit ("the Lord Commander, Alliser Thorne, Master Aemon, Hobb's food, the cold weather...") until Pyp decided to get straight to the point.  
«You told Sam this morning that you know about love 'much more than he thinks.' What does it mean?»  
«That I'm in love, maybe?» Edd's response was very quiet and direct; Pyp wouldn't have expected it from him.  
«Perfect. Whose?»  
«Do you really think I'm telling you?»  
«Edd» Pyp put a hand on his shoulder «I want to help you. We want to help you.» His gaze caught Grenn's, who intervened.  
«Aye, sure. We just want to help you.»  
«And how could you?»  
«In any way» Pyp went on «we understand that you need love, so we'll do everything to get it for you. Of course, if it's a girl from your country or someone specific who is far from here, I don't think we could bring her to you. But we could help you find someone else at Mole's Town or...»  
«Seven Hells, Pyp, stop!» Edd shook his head, then turned to Grenn «is he that talkative even in bed?»  
Grenn laughed. But Pyp wasn't...maybe.  
«It wasn't a joke-»  
Pyp cut him off, grabbing him by the arm and forcing him to pay attention again.  
«Edd, I'm serious.»  
«But I was too.»  
« _Edd!_ »  
The Dolorous rolled his eyes.  
«Why do you refuse to tell us? What could be so strange?»  
Edd sighed «Pyp, really, forget it. It's a lost cause, I don't even need to tell you because it's not worth it.»  
Pyp would not have given up so easily.  
«Well. But know that I will stay here all night, until I get that name.»  
«Jon.»  
It was Grenn who spoke. He kept his eyes fixed on the brazier, as if he were speaking to himself, completely immersed in his thoughts.  
«It's Jon Snow» he continued «and I don't know how I didn't think of it before. It all seems so obvious to me now.»  
Something clicked in Pyp's brain.  
The way Edd looked at Jon, the sweetness with which he talked to him...and even smiled at him!  
Grenn must have been absolutely right.  
He watched Edd turn white and lose his speech. They had guessed right, or better still, it was that sweet idiot of his Grenn who had guessed before him. Pyp smiled to himself.  
There was a moment of awkward silence, then Grenn looked up from the fire and stared at Edd with a questioning expression.  
«Well, what? I'm right?»  
Edd clearly decided to buy time to recover or formulate a suitable answer by getting up to grab a mug into which he poured the beer. He drank until it was empty, and his pale face slowly began to regain color.  
A few more seconds passed, then he spoke.  
«When I got here three years ago, I was just a weak, unhappy boy. I had a bad childhood. My father abandoned me when I was a few months old, leaved me and my mother in poverty. How much that poor woman suffered...  
It was after his death that I decided to take black, refusing to try to make a living as we have done so far. What good was it, to live alone, perhaps? I thought it would be better to join a confraternity, to have companions, to continue living for someone.  
Seeing how my father had reduced my mother, I grew up with the idea that love was actually all bullshit. I had never loved anyone, and I always wondered "how could people love someone like me?".   
So I certainly did not expect to find a soulmate - also because I had never thought of my hypothetical attraction towards men. But maybe I could have bet on friendship.  
I didn't even find that.  
People have always avoided me, because of my character. I was aware of it, but what could I have done? I would never have been as cheerful and optimistic as they wanted, I would never have changed. For this they almost immediately gave up on my company. Well, I went through two years of utter solitude before you two, Jon and later Sam came here a year ago.  
To tell you the truth, I just couldn't understand why Jon wanted to be my friend. Now I know, of course, I know his great empathy towards misfits, but at the time I could not help but feel amazement and admiration for this young boy so handsome, strong and kind who spoke _to me!_  
Jon had even added me to his group of friends, dragging me to meet you. And we spent a lot of time alone, training, or standing guard on the top, or when you went in the evening and it was just me and him in the room chatting.  
He treated me as if I were his friend, he treated me as if he loved me, he treated me as if I were not the Dolorous Edd, but a normal boy like many others.  
I fell madly in love with him. How could I not do it? He was _everything_ to me.  
When he hugged me, I felt in heaven. When I watched him train with the sword, I had to thank the cold weather because my body couldn't had involuntary reactions. And in the evening I always had to refrain from drinking, because if I exaggerated I would have found myself hitting him against the wall and kissing him without thinking twice.  
Now, absolutely nothing has changed, but my love for him has grown.  
So aye, guys, I love Jon. I love him with all of myself and would die for him right now.»  
When he finished speaking, Edd's face was red. Pyp looked at Grenn and he did the same.  
Seven Hells, Edd was imploding.  
«And the talkative one was me?» Pyp said, but he did it only to ease the tension. He knows it was serious and that now he should keep his word and help him. But how?  
Could Jon have reciprocated Edd in any way?  
The idea of convincing him to take him to bed was totally out of the question for two very good reasons: first of all, he wouldn't let Jon delude him that way, because it would only hurt him more than he should; and besides, a subject like Jon Snow, it would have been easier to force him to fall madly in love with a person than to get him to fuck her and thus break his oath.  
Edd's gaze went from Pyp, to Grenn, then back to Pyp. «Then? Are you happy now?»  
«Quite. Even if it's a very messy situation» Pyp replied.  
«Really? I never would have said that» Edd said, with his usual stinging sarcasm that made want to punch him. But Pyp didn't blame him, not right now.  
«Rather» the Dolorous continued, turning to Grenn «I'd like to understand how a person like Grenn the Aurochs could guess such a thing. If he got there, then I'm afraid it has become frighteningly obvious.»  
Grenn just shrugged «you look at him as if you want to eat him. And then I can recognize people...like me, that's it. As happened with Pyp. Call it natural instinct or whatever you want.»  
«"People like me" would be a nice term to call me deviated?»  
«Exactly. That's what you are, isn't it?»  
Edd shrugged and nodded in defeat.  
Pyp laughed, patting him on the back «welcome to the club, my friend.»  
«Aye, _hurrah!_ » snorted the Dolorous «it's easy for you to talk, now that you are together.»  
«And you'll be with Jon shortly. Or maybe, in case it doesn't fit, with an even better one.» Having said that, Pyp stood up.  
«My love, what does your instinct say about Jon Snow's sexual preferences?» he asked Grenn.  
«I'm not sure. As far as I know, he likes women. But he might like women and men alike. His attitudes towards Edd aren't all that different from Edd's with him. Let us remember that even Jon is not exactly the represtentation of joy, and yet he always seems to be happy with him.»  
His reasoning made sense.  
«So it might work?»  
«I hope that.»  
Edd interrupted them «guys, that's enough, I'm embarrassed. I look like a virgin discussing her first crush with her ladies-in-waiting.»  
«You are.» Pyp and Grenn had responded in unison, visibly increasing Edd's discomfort, who blushed.  
Pyp opened the bedroom door and started to go out «okay, goodnight Edd dear.»  
«What...? Wait, where are you going?»  
«To make us sure Grenn's instinct isn't wrong.»  
Pyp winked; Grenn left the room and he followed, closing the door behind him along with some of what Pyp assumed were curses from Edd, clearly baffled about going to talk to Jon.  
He started to head for the stairs, but Grenn stopped him. «Do you really want to go to Jon? Now?» the red-haired man complained «do you want to take me out to the cold just after I warmed up?»  
Pyp went back to approach her boyfriend and, standing up on tiptoe, gave him a light kiss on the lips. «You don't need to come, just wait for me in your room if you want. I'll join you in ten minutes» he smiled.  
Grenn smiled back and nodded, then turned to go to his room, or rather, theirs: for several months now, Pyp had stopped using his room, because every night he went to sleep with Grenn.  
Pyp went in the opposite direction, descending into the Common Room. There he found Sam, Satin and Toad sitting and chatting, but there was no sign of Jon, so he asked them where he was.  
«If I'm not mistaken, he should have a guard shift at the top» Satin said.  
Pyp thanked him and went out into the courtyard. The chill wind hit his face and made him shiver, but he headed for the freight elevator to climb to the top of the Wall.  
When a brother raised him, he tightened his cloak even tighter and thought that if all went well, Edd would owe him a huge favor.  
When he arrived, Jon went to meet him «oh, hi Pyp, I thought you were someone who came to relieve me. What are you doing here?»  
«I'll keep you company. May I?»  
«Sure. Where's Grenn?»  
«He's already gone to bed.»  
Jon nodded. She probably wanted to ask him why he wasn't with him, but he didn't do it out of decency. Instead he asked «do you want to talk to me about something?»  
They walked for a while and were silent, then Pyp asked «have you ever thought you could be attracted to a man?»  
This was one of the many qualities Pyp recognized he had: he was always direct.  
Jon's eyes widened, evidently surprised by such a question. «Why do you ask me that?»  
Pyp shrugged «there is a boy in love with you. I wanted to help him and know if it might interest you.»  
«I...I don't know» Jon admitted.  
«" I don't know" is not an answer. Yes or no?»  
«See» Jon grabbed him by the shoulder and spoke to him in a more confidential tone «I've never told anyone about this before. I am experiencing a moment of confusion. I've always been attracted to women in my life, but now I think I've fallen in love with a man. I don't know if it's normal.»  
«Hey, don't worry» he reassured him stroking his head «it's a perfectly normal thing. Most men love women, others - like me - love other men, and so still others love them both. You belong to the latter category. It's nothing to be ashamed of.»  
Jon nodded again, then thanked him.  
«Okay. Now tell me, who is this person?»  
«Don't you think I've already told you too much?» Jon walked away from him.  
«You told me half of the story. This about your double sexuality is very beautiful, but I want the name.»  
Pyp couldn't see it well due to the darkness, but thought he saw some blush on Jon's face.  
«You would fool me to death.»  
«I will not do that. Don't you trust a friend?» said Pyp, with his usual immutable smile on his lips.  
Jon sighed.  
«Go ahead and take your time, I have all night. And then there's also a nice cool wind here» commented Pyp ironically, crossing his arms.  
«Edd.»  
This time it was Pyp who widened his eyes. It was impossible, it couldn't be that easy. His arms immediately fell to his sides.  
«You're the one that making fun of me.»  
«I swear, I'm telling the truth.»  
«If I may ask, how, for the Seven Hells, can you be in love with the Dolorous Edd?»  
«I don't know...» Jon began.  
« _Again_. This is not new. Is there anything you know?»  
Jon gave him a gentle push. Pyp chuckled.  
«I don't know» he resumed «maybe it will be his character, his stinging and sometimes embarrassing sarcasm that I like to death, his sincerity, his loyalty. It will be the way he smiles at me, which is something he never does to anyone, or the way he hold me when he hugs me. It will be his whipped puppy eyes that seem to almost beg for love and drive me crazy.  
Maybe there isn't something in particular that I like about him, maybe I love everything he does and has because it's him.  
It is true, there are many things that I don't know, but I know one thing: I made friends with him only because he made me tenderness, and now I have fallen in love with him and I cannot stop. Now, the only thing I want is to hold him in my arms and cuddle him for hours; make him understand that there is someone in the world who really loves him, make him understand that there is someone who would die for him without hesitation.»  
«Of course are soulmates, you two» Pyp said when Jon was done.  
«What do you mean?»  
«You are equally depressed. You both hate life and everything around you. You both seem to be looking forward to dying. And above all, you are both incurable romantics; you gave me two disgustingly sweet speeches that you might as well have avoided, because I only asked for a name and not an epic poem. But yours was a lot shorter than his, so thank you for that.»  
«Do you talked to-»  
«Go to him» Pyp silenced him «trust me» and turned on his heel to leave.  
«Pyp» Jon called him «you know that at first I thought you were talking about yourself? I thought you were hitting on me.»  
Pyp turned to look at him and laughed «you are very nice, Jon, really. Possibly one of the most beautiful guys I've ever seen. But I don't deserve you, you belong to Edd. And I would never leave Grenn even for all the gold in the universe.»  
«"You're an incurable romantic"» Jon said, quoting the phrase with which Pyp had teased him moments before.  
«This time you are right. These are progress. Maybe slowly you will begin to know something too.» Pyp winked and left. 

\- 

Breakfast that morning again included porridge; Pyp knew that Grenn hated it.  
His boyfriend turned the spoon for a good ten minutes, but never tasted it. Pyp was now resigned to the flavor and had already finished it.  
«You know, I don't think it will disappear from the bowl by itself» he observed.  
«You're right, Sam, you take care of it.» Grenn pushed the bowl towards their friend, who was sitting at the table with a book in his hand. Sam just started eating without taking his eyes off the pages.  
«Why are you so special that you can take the thousand-year-old books from the library and carry them around?» Pyp asked him.  
«Sometimes being the Maester's steward has its advantages» he explained simply.  
«In a nutshell, he's a fucking recommended» Edd said as he sat down across from them.  
He was followed by Jon, and they both had an odd gaiety on them.  
Pyp exchanged a knowing glance with Grenn and smiled. Edd and Jon noticed it and smiled too.  
Jon took Edd's hand and laced their fingers across the table. Pyp and Grenn watched in silence, Sam barely noticed their arrival.  
«Well, what are you looking at?» Edd asked.  
«Indeed. Can't I even hold my boyfriend's hand without being stared at like I have a dragon on my shoulder?» Jon added.  
«Your boyfriend?» Pyp chuckled.  
«Whose boyfriend?» Sam asked, as if he had just woken up from a trance. He looked up and saw Edd and Jon's hands, then realized «are you two together?!»  
«Yes, since last night» Edd explained «and since it's only been a few hours, maybe you could keep your voice down so that the whole confraternity doesn't already know.»  
Sam looked at the two of them, then at Grenn and Pyp.  
«Why does everyone find love here except me?»  
«Because you're too stubborn about looking for it in a woman» Jon explained.  
«Said the one who accepted his sexuality last night. Thanks to me. Thinking about it, _everything_ happened thanks to me» Pyp observed.  
«Aye, thanks Pyp» Edd and Jon said in unison. But Edd rolled his eyes and Jon laughed as he said it.  
«And most of all, thanks to Grenn's natural prophetic instinct» Edd added.  
Pyp nodded and started filling five glasses of beer. He passed them to his friends and raised his. «At this point I propose a toast to myself, to Grenn and to the new love that has blossomed between these two young brothers» he said solemnly.  
Everyone drank, then Edd complained «how can you drink at this time of the morning? It's sickening.»  
«Yesterday morning you said the same thing about love and now you have a boyfriend» Sam observed.  
«Then chances are you'll find me drunk in the morning.»  
«Now that you have a boyfriend, you'll need it» Pyp said, as Grenn shot him a sidelong glance «especially when, rather than mornings holding hands, you start spending nights together. This is every man's flaw and the downside of being in a relationship: they're insatiable.» Then he winked at Grenn, teasing him.  
«Actually, we've already started» Jon bragged. Edd kicked him under the table.  
«What?»  
«There was no need to make it public.»  
Pyp refilled his glass and started pouring into Edd's too.  
«Then I propose another toast.»


End file.
